Since our last ultrasound on Wednesday at Life Choices Pregnancy Center, I have felt Ruby kick and squirm more than ever. She has been so active and I have become more and more aware of her presence. It has been very sweet.
Monday evening though I had a weird moment. Its hard to describe cause I was half way between being awake and asleep but I found myself waking up to a loud whoosh sound. It sounded like a giant gust of wind had blown through our room but our blinds and curtains were not moving. It lasted about 10 seconds and then complete and utter silence. Now I don't know if I dreamt the sound of the wind and woke up to the silence or if I was truly coherent through any of it, but what initially came to mind was.....she's gone. Like I was hearing the words ringing in my head of "it is finished".
I went about my morning as usual. Ran errands, took jack and a friend to the Library, picked Caleb up from school. I picked up a cup of coffee and headed home to lie down. I wanted to get a lil caffeine in me and then wait to feel her kick and squirm. I had told John about my "night time storm" so I think he was a bit on edge. He kept texting, "have you felt her?"
Once I laid down it was about 1pm and I did get a few good kicks but not as many as I would've hoped, almost as if she was slowing down.
Now I can let things get into my head a bit and I was praying that I wouldn't let this weird noise play into my thoughts or give satan a foothold to play with my doubts and worries but I was worried about her activity. And since we are going into the specialist today I wondered if God was revealing some news to us.
John wondered if it was the moment He decided to heal her, I wonder if He was just reminding me of the storm that He and the disciples faced. That while Jesus slept the disciples were facing a raging storm on the boat. A storm too
big for them!
Jesus Storybook Bible:
But the storm wasn't too big for Jesus. "HELP!" they screamed. "Wake up! Quick Jesus!" Jesus opened his eyes. "rescue us! Save us!" the shrieked. "don't you care?"(of course Jesus cared, and this was the very reason he had come-to rescue them and to save them.)
Jesus stood up and spoke to the storm."Hush!" he said. That's all, And the strangest thing happened...The wind and the waves recognized Jesus' voice. (They had heard it before, of course-it was the same voice that made them, in the very beginning)
.....There was a deep stillness and great quiet all around. Then Jesus turned to His wind-torn friends. "Why were you scared? Did you forget who I am? Did you believe your fears, instead of me?"
Jesus' friends were quiet. As quiet as the wind and the waves. And into their hearts came a different kind of storm. "What kind of man is this?" they asked "Even the wind and the waves obey him!"
May He continue to calm our storms, to quiet our thoughts, to silence our fears, and to just speak "Hush". And may we continue to trust in His goodness, His sovereignty and His perfect plan. That we are His creation. And if only we would be as obedient as the wind. To truly listen to His words and immediately obey them.
Thank you for your prayers and please know we desire every text, email, phone call. Dont think for a minute we don't need you:)
Like my friend Lynette said this weekend we need people around, people to be "Jesus with skin on"!