Monday, December 5, 2011
I never know whats going to set off the water works
I was scrolling through one of my favorite sites and I came across this image. I was struck by it and my heart began to melt.
Something about not seeing this little girls face but just her sweet brown hair pulled back and her adorable little outfit brought me to tears. I realized that's exactly how I would've dressed Ruby. How I always imagined in my mind what my little girl would look like from the back. I love that I cannot see her face. That I will always wonder what she would've looked like growing up.
People have asked from time to time if we plan on "trying again" or moving forward with adoption. And at this point we really have no idea. We are not quite ready to make any decisions as of yet cause I believe we still really want Ruby. We don't want anyone else to replace her. We want her.
I found my pregnancy journal that I had when I was prego with Jackson. I pulled out a piece of paper that had a list of boy names and girl names. We had, our youth group at the time, vote for their favorite name or they could add names to the bottom. At the top of the girl list was Ruby Jean. We have longed to call our little girl that since before the Lord formed her. We knew if we had a girl that would be her name. And at this point I dont want to come up with any other names for a little girl or boy for that matter. I want RUBY JEAN.
I know that Lord has great plans for our family. I don't have any idea what that might be yet, but we trust in His timing and perfect will for our future. That He would prepare us mentally, emotionally, spiritually for our families next step. That if He desires for us to become pregnant again He will equip us with everything we need and give us the hearts that desire it! That if He desires for us to adopt that He will bless us with overwhelming peace and confirmation to move forward. But we do not want to make plans of our own until we are confirmed. Pray for us. For timing, patience, clarity, confirmation, peace, contentment and trust.