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John here. Back in June, the evening before I left for Africa, we found out we were pregnant. What a surprise! And what began, was a journey that we never asked to embark on. We looked forward to January 21, 2012, as the mile marker to welcome our new little one into the world. We dreamed of her. We longed to meet her. We eagerly anticipated the blessed moment when she would emerge from the womb, exercise her fragile lungs for the first time and issue forth the first melting cries of new birth. We looked forward to January 21, 2012 as a day to be remembered and not forgotten, a day of joy and praises, a day of love and tears and laughter and life.
Understandably, most of you who have been following this blog or who are personally involved in our day to day lives, know how we have anticipated and dreaded this day ever since we learned of Ruby's condition back in September. It's amazing to see how a simple date can carry with it so much anticipation and expectant joy. And it's amazing to see how, in a literal skipped heartbeat, that simple date can become something so far removed.
Time marches on and here we are. Looking back on the journey that God has taken us on, we are nothing short of grateful. I didn't know what the tone of this post would be today, but I know that in hindsight, I can vaguely but confidently see the hand of God working a new birth in our hearts.
Ruby's diagnosis was complete surprise which we were not prepared for. Yet we tangibly saw and felt the Fathering hand of our loving Heavenly Father from beginning to end. As we watched Ruby's heart slowly fail and fade away, we felt our hearts being strengthened by Holy Spirit's work of comfort and help. As we learned of all the many inadequacies of Ruby's little body under Trisomy 18, we learned of the all-surpassing power and all-sufficient grace of our Lord Jesus Christ...that He is enough to carry our broken bodies. We were never blessed to hear Ruby's voice or her first cries, yet God has indeed placed a new song in our hearts and countless more reasons to sing. And even though Ruby never got to use her fragile lungs, we can see how He has breathed new life into us, preparing us to breathe the sweet atmosphere of Heaven, for the first time.
January 21, 2012, God has done a new birth and breathed new life into our hearts. In wonder and awe and with worshipful abandon...we are eternally grateful.
How surpassingly great it is to know Christ Jesus my Lord, and to be found in Him! For on this January 21, 2012, we are celebrating all the more...
We are five weeks along...and eagerly expecting greater things from the Giver of Life. September 21, 2012...