Monday, September 19, 2011

Ruby Jean

"Ruby" - a pink to blood-red colored gemstone, considered one of the four rare and precious gemstones.

"Jean" - 'God is gracious.'

God has been gracious to us. We prayed so hard for a little girl, and God has chosen to literally grace us with little Ruby Jean. Though not in the way we imagined or hoped. This blog will serve as our journal as we walk hand in hand and step for step with our loving and Holy Heavenly Father. The process of creating a Ruby naturally is quite difficult and is fraught with countless trials and adversities. But the result of just the right minerals being 'cooked' with just the right pressure for just the right time, creates something of such value, rarity and beauty, that the eye finds itself captivated and the heart, worshipful. I especially like what is said here about the natural creation of rubies:

"The crystals form as the molten mixture is cooling. The rate at which it cools will determine the clarity and size. When the mixture is allowed to cool over a long period of time, larger rubies are formed. If the mixture cools too quickly, it can limit - or even prevent the formation of rubies."

And so it is with this season of life we have found ourselves in. Neither Cristin or I have any idea what will happen to our baby girl. As I write this now, we are anxiously awaiting a phone call from a specialist, telling us whether we should plan a funeral or a surgery. In the meantime, we're planning for a miracle. I don't know. I can't see tomorrow. I don't know if Ruby will be with us for a week, a month, a year or a lifetime.

But I know my Heavenly Father and I know what He's doing. He's making rubies. The heat burns, the pressure's rising, the timeline is invisible and I pray to Him earnestly that the mixture of our hearts are just right... just right to pull beauty out of the chaos. I pray earnestly that He will bring us beauty in the life of our Ruby Jean. But if His plan is to bring about beauty in some other form, we will choose to trust Him all the way.

Bottom line: God will heal our Ruby way or another. He will either provide partial and temporary healing here on Earth, or complete and eternal healing in His Holy presence. We will choose to trust Him all the way. In the meantime, we will revel in her kicks and joyful movements in the womb and make the most of every moment God graces us with. This will be our account of God's actions within the Harrell family, and a celebration of His loving Fathering hand. Welcome, and let's find the rubies.

-- John


  1. Love this. Love you both. Love Ruby and Caleb and Jack. The kids, Jason and I are praying all the time.

  2. Praying right now for you guys and your little Ruby. God has loaned you a beautiful little treasure to enjoy and He will give you all the grace you need, no matter what. This we know. Hugs...

  3. I am so very thankful to be your father. We love you all and are praying with you and for you through all of this. God is good.

  4. Sending so much love your way! You guys are in our thoughts, hearts, prayers! God has a plan.

  5. Hi Cristin and John! You don't know me, but Mark Martinez posted your blogs. I just wanted to let you know that I have been checking your blog off and on all day...burdened for you guys and praising God for the peace He is giving you as you wait. My husband and I were where you are back in May. The uncertainty is so hard, but God is so good. God's plan is so much better than ours. I'm so glad He is showing you that. I am following your blog now and praying for you!